Who knew being sick could be a good thing?

21 Dec

I’m home sick. I think it is a result of literally sleeping no more than 6 hours per night for the last two weeks because of the crazy amount of things I am committed to doing, namely: work (with exactly 100 middle-schoolers every day); after school club I advise; tutoring 5 students; Christmas shopping; family gatherings and weekly acupuncture appointment that typically takes 3 hours. Notice I did not include things I WISH were in my list of business: baking, walking my dog, keeping up with my daily advent readings,exercising and wrapping gifts.

I LOVE Christmas. It is really “the most wonderful time of the year” for me. I realize it is not for many people, but for me it always has been. This is the first year in my 29 years of life that I have not made cookies and wrapped my gifts. It is December 21st and I am still feeling like it is not Christmas season yet. I am too busy. I’ve had a few cookies – at my mom’s. I’ve been out of touch, and my perspective has been so selfish. I would like to think that I have a good reason for this, that I was literally too tired to be patient, to be calm, to be loving and look beyond my to do list. I would LIKE to think that. But I can’t. It’s just an excuse. I read somewhere that excuses are the nails that build the “house of failure”.

Well today I was too sick to go to work. I went to the doctor instead. I have been home. I have been too sick to clean, to wrap, to bake. But I slept. I cuddled with my dog. I watched stupid t.v. shows. I just woke up to my dog sprawled on the living room floor, a candle lit, and a house that is quiet except for Faith Hill’s voice softly singing Christmas songs. And I am breathing slowly and enjoying the moments of the day.

I needed this. I needed to be sick in order to give me some perspective. To remind me that the important things in life are not the things I have been thinking are so important. Reading over some of my last posts make me sad. Sad that I have spent so much energy being sad, mad, impatient and unkind when I have received so much kindness and so many “second” chances myself. Readers, if you have made it this far in my long-winded babble, I apologize for giving you my microscopic, self-focused perspective. I hope to change that. I know I need to say no to things, to take time to breathe, to pray, to get TRUE perspective. I will be more pleasant if I do that.

 

And H? Will you please forgive me for being so harsh, impatient, judgement and hurtful to you this week especially?

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2 Responses to “Who knew being sick could be a good thing?”

  1. MarkLM December 21, 2011 at 7:21 pm #

    It’s an interesting exercise you guys have embarked upon here and credit to you for the honesty which hopefully encourages yourselves as well as your readers. My wife & I have grown together over our 17 years of marriage and this year enjoyed a fresh revelation of communication via the Love & Respect experience (http://loveandrespect.com/) which we heartily encourage all couples to undertake. God bless.

    • glasshousemarriage December 23, 2011 at 3:13 pm #

      Thanks….we still don’t know if this honesty is good or bad, but are giving it a shot anyhow. I always hated feeling like I was the only one going through something, so hopefully someone will not feel alone after reading our blog. We have tried listening to that book on tape whenever we are in the car. It is good, but H has a really bad memory, and so listening to it is not really effective, and we just plain don’t seem to have time. Thank you for the suggestion. We will eventually get through the book…

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