Weekender (W)

16 Oct

So the no sex thing…..This weekend started out with me doing school work until 12:20pm. The rest of the weekend was fun, but we were either arguing or with other people the ENTIRE time until about 8pm Sunday night, and I’ve been doing school work again until now.

Pretty much either H or I have commitments every single night of the week, and I always have school work to grade or plan. We never seem to have any alone time. And between my bad sleep patterns (because of my pain and loud neighbors), and being so busy, there is never any time to be together long enough so that I feel connected and “into” having sex.

So it’s not that I don’t want to have sex with H. It’ s mainly that I am so tired all the time, and H does not make it easy. It’s like he is so sensitive to me that he doesn’t make the decisions, which leaves me with more “work” in the form of decisions. I need to feel connected, and without time, I can’t feel connected.

In general, I do not think it is healthy for me to share all the intimate details of my marriage with people we know, because mostly it’s none of  their business. However, I have learned that the times I feel the most alone is when I feel like no-one else has ever gone through what I’m going through (whether it is something serious or silly). I only wish that I had someone who could tell me, “Hey, I’ve been there…I’ve felt that…You are not the only one going through this…”. My hope is that my struggles will have at least one purpose: to let someone else know they are not alone.

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